Monday, October 22, 2007

Why Love bites?

Oh no that was not my recent experience but usually this is the common phenomena every where I see. Not that I detest or loathe the real idea of that but I still wonder why it is like that? I know for real no one in this phase of earth - not even any animal or not even the Neanderthal man could have avoided. If not, we never would have existed. However, If it is so important and hard to be left alone event, why is it that we hurt ourselves in the process. Perhaps the feeling is like holding on to a hot gas balloon in winter thinking it will give us all the warmth forever; fact is if held for a long time, it sure has a ripping effect.

Now I don't mean to even misconstrue the whole idea of this love and being loved. The fact is most of us at some point of time hold the cards closer to our chest and end up being too passionate about the other person, leaving the actual feeling alone. What this ends up being is a Butterfly effect(Scientific phenomena more technically the "sensitive dependence on initial conditions" which is an essence of chaos). As in the website reference point, for some people the chaos factor is limited because of several reasons and for some unfortunate ones it is trauma since it starts.

Knowing this why is it that every living organism in the world feels secured and wanted by go into the abyss and love to experience butterflies in the stomach? BTW, butterflies in the stomach is a medical condition characterized by the physical sensation of a "fluttery" (hence butterflies) feeling in the stomach. Some believe that this is caused by the release of epinephrine, or adrenaline, when one is nervous, pulling blood away from the stomach and sending it to the muscles. Butterflies in the stomach is most often experienced prior to important events, when stress is induced, but can be experienced in situations of impending danger. Now, we have an internal signal too to decipher impending danger and yet we crave and want to experience this? Why? I always wondered, though I know there is nothing as good as the feeling when you like someone and are wanting and waiting to hear from them. However it is the disappointment and pain that keeps accruing with every minute of possessive experience. I personally am disturbed seeing few things happen to people in real life and they find themselves in hapless position. Why this misgiving?

I am still not clear and I do more research on "Why we love and why love bites". Tell you what this is one nice research analysis LOL. The more I look around to find the meaning and reason for love - good and bad, I am confronted by several theories justifying love - Scientific, Psychological, Biological, Formulaic Models etc etc. There are websites that have made a living out of the Love Sign compatibilities and matches based on each of the theories mentioned above.

I was compelled to stratify love into several phases and then was sure why love falls off in the middle for some people, why it never took off for some and why it lasts like a charm for some. I appreciate Robert Sternberg's "Triangular theory of love". Details entail the basic phenomena of love between man and woman. It is quite compelling and quite demonstrative.


The size of the triangle functions to represent the amount of love - the bigger the triangle the greater the love. The shape of the triangle functions to represent the kind of love, which typically varies over the course of the relationship: passion-stage (right-shifted triangle), intimacy-stage (apex-triangle), commitment-stage (left-shifted triangle), typically.

However, is'nt the theory with respect to any relationship we have with other humans around us - Friends, Family, Siblings, Enemies, Acquaintances, Colleagues, Class mates etc? Then why is it that it hurts the most when the relationship between the man and the woman goes for a toss? Why is it that we still want that X-Factor in life even after we slipped and hurt ourself once? Why is it that we feel complete when we love again (or for the first time)? Why is it that when you are in love you can't breathe or think right? Why is the feeling different?

I don't know but as much as the theory holds the ground, it is upto us to find appropriate personalities who can compliment our feelings and vice versa. A lion just cannot fall in love with a rat ! If it does it is not because of love but because of compassion. I realized this in my personal life as well and for love to be all successful, I think it is the opposites that attract each other the most. And may be at the end of it there are few questions that can never be answered and this question in me could as well be a mighty contender for more years to come ! But as of now I just have no idea why we love and why love bites.

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