Friday Movie Review - Shoot 'Em up => "Dine in hell"

Are you tired of all those heartless, senseless, generic and cliché, action-driven Hollywood films? That honor style and blood over character and plot? Well then I have news for you: don't go see "Shoot Em' Up". But it's a shame that you won't. The film I pointed to and said 'that's what film-making has come to these days; all attitude and no heart', turns out to be the most fun and riotous satire I've seen in a long time.

However, it is one of the great ways to screw up your mood is to watch a movie with zero story line, zero performance, zero 'believable' stunt topped with a sultry heroine action. A friend of mine and I watched this forsaken movie called "Shoot 'Em up". I should have realized this was a disaster in making before but my friend said rotten tomatoes gave a 69% rating. Hmm.. FUCKING SADISTIC CHEATERS. We said in chorus after the end of the movie. What do I even have to critic about the movie. It was like bull shit all wound up in a satin cloth sprayed with the oomph factor spray and the director threw it straight on the audience ! What a nice feeling?

But this however made me think a little bit, apart from bitching about the movie. I did a little research and found that this movie has actually got the following rating from all the movie watchers.

The demographic split is below:The user report (per age) split is below:

I reckon the rating is on 10 and 7.6 would mean a good movie?? I am still surprised coz I am advocating for a -2 for this. OK lemme give you a few plots and you figure out what the movie is made up of. Say what would you do when a person breaks both middle fingers and one of your thumb in your hands and he is chasing you and got you point blank? Perhaps die. Heck no. The hero in this movie decided otherwise. When he was chased, he kept about 5 bullets in the webbings in the hand and goes and keeps his hand on the fire(in the fire place) and guess what the heat from the fire makes the bullets spring out in real speed and all the bullets hit the villain and he falls down "UNCONSCIOUS" for sometime. HELLO - Bullets don't cause or contribute to drowsiness. He wakes up again !

If this one part, in another sequence the supposedly claimed hero jumps out of an aeroplane (flying at 35,000 altitude!) with his parachute and soon there are close to a dozen who jump out with machine guns and start firing as they go free fall. No bullets hits the hero. And we are still free falling and for some reason, the guy controls his free fall to catch up with the mates who are also free falling and basically kills everyone of them at several points of time and suddenly a chopper comes up at around say the 1000th altitude mark and a few are severed too with the blades doing the job. However, the hero is still active and has escaped the chopper blades and "lands" on the ground only to find all the dead bodies of the people that he killed to be on the same vicinity where he landed !

Oh I have to say this. This scene was a rip off. Now the hero has a fast car chase sequence where he shoots at the wind shield of the car and breaks it open. There is this head on collision sort of thing with another car nearing his car at a real cool pace. Now the entire theatre is on the edge of seat. Well not to be worried what would happen to the hero but we are hoping the head on collision works and atleast for once the hero is injured. Folks in my row were optimistic he was going to die. Director thought otherwise. The hero with a 'clear' vision from his car, rips the wind shield of the oncoming fast car/van. Now with clear view, there is this head on collision. BANG, BOOM. The hero is seen flying out of his car into the other car through the wind shield (praise the precision and foresight of the driver that he would only go through the wind shield) and the fella is now into the enemies van and the killers hired to kill him are all so flummoxed that they don't know what to do. The hero in context goes straight to the back of the van and falls on his back only to get up fast and fire 4-6 bullets and everyone dead !

He does not stop there. He kills the Senator this way too and case is closed without any doubts, kills about roughly 450-600 people with automated guns, saves a pregnant lady, has fun with the Italian actress, Monica Bellucci - wonder why she agreed to act in this movie !!

Why did the director steel my sunshine, I wondered? Friday, weekend spirit and movie and BANG we just had a bad taste of the movie. In short the film takes the best cartoon elements, makes them flesh, and still kicks in that over the top craziness. Bad puns that are so bad they're good, action sequences that there just for the sake of having an action sequence, and the wildest sex scene ever...it's amazing. The whole project, through controlled chaos and witty abandon, is made as a single, continuous in-joke. As in most films that take themselves too seriously, Clive Owen's hero (enigmatically titled Mr. Smith) quite literally never stops shooting. He shoots while having sex, he shoots while in the middle of free-fall, he shoots the umbilical cord off of a baby, he shoots with his fingers broken. Davis takes over-the-top to a whole new level; poking fun at action movies by taking their ridiculousness to its brinking point.

In the end, I give a thumbs down to it and if there is anything below zero, I would suggest that as how I truly felt. However, to people who like characters who call themselves hero's of south - Rajnikanth, Vijaykanth, Chiranjevi etc etc, your taste buds would be mighty satisfied to have seen this movie.