One More general thoughts follow now:
aah money
yes money
no, money

who invented it? apparently we did, considering the we are all from the same really horny forefathers and mothers

my professor has waived my life along with half my fee

the price you pay for a career

choose life, choose a career

me, i have no plans of being an environmental engineer if i can help it

again, i have to generate interest to just keep going

you know, the add water,soap,rinse,repeat,rinse,repeat routine

seems to apply to ANY job

even being a musician(which is my plan of course) seems redundant except for the music

everything is redundant

we all talk in cliches ...

each sentence we speak has phrases like "when it comes down to it" "as that old saying goes" etc

language is redundant

redundancy is life, indeed

the only escape is your imagination

if you dont have it, you must either be one of those focused on career people
or really unlucky..

but again all this pondering is of no use

dreams arent real
neither is love
and so on
they are just abstract
abstract is appealing because of its meaningfulness

ask some artist to explain his art and it loses its essence

its like in quantum physics...a state exists until you observe it
it collapses once you do observe it

duality is infinite

there is the many worlds theory that talks about parallel universes

if you dont contemplate, the thought exists
and if you do, it is just another thought

ahh, iam such a smart ass

anyone help me out with distinctions between real and imaginary?

i realise

hunger is real
physical pain is real

but things like love, etc as i have already dwelled upon, are not

just illusions

you believe because you want to believe
you want to believe because you dont want your life just a cycle of personal hygiene, mental loss, shares and bonds, your cars mileage, your next memo,etc

i have had experiences where i get jolted out of my dreamy state

walking down a road, dreaming

until a dog comes barking at me

i get jolted out of my senses

i feel fear

fear is real

even if youre schizo

again,apparently removal of certain glands in your body will ensure you dont feel a thing

no fear

no pain

what would happen then?

i believe there is a movie aptly named 'fearless' on this subject

anyone seen it? make sense?

what would you be if you cannot feel a thing

not even boredom

would you just work, eat,sleep, clean up

would you be a machine

propogating your kind

and another thing

this i think is a huge paradox

scenario 1: you are a 'thinker','dreamer',metaphysical entity..
and then someone you know dies,
this is from personal experience...i snapped out of my dreaminess...death is real...

scenario 2: you are a very practical person, who saves money, works hard etc, a complete non metaphysical entity
and then someone you know dies,
here...you start metaphysicizing! death is surreal to you...you try to see if there is a big picture

what do you think?!

so there has to be a balance?
between imagination and realism?

what is the right amount of sugar to add?

again, these are ponderances which will just linger until the next jolt

again, survival and existence and all that shit

anyway, iam hungry, gotta stop dreaming and cook

there y'are...back on earth.