Merry Christmas and Happy New year all

Oh my blog readers and all strangers, here's a warm season's greetings to you and

folks that matter to you :
Merry Christmas and have a happy and safe holidays.

And eventually have a good and cool New Years. Hope all the unfulfilled dreams,hopes and everything that matters to you be fulfilled and take your life to
another level.

May you feel the Angels enfold you in their wings.
May you always find serenity in the simple things.
May the Light of Heaven shine upon your path,
and bring you to the completion of your work in Peace and Joy and Grace.

The Christmas Elf Massacre

Buy me a beer if you want the story told
Of why I moved down South from the frost and cold.
Why I'm knee deep in therapy, liquor, and pills.
Why I've given up charity in lieu of cheap thrills.


Why I loathe mistletoe, fruitcake and bells --
And why I'll celebrate Xmas when it freezes in hell.
You'll never see this elf make angels in snow.
Hey thanks for the booze – so I guess here it goes:


"Twas the night after Christmas in the North Pole
No creatures were stirring, not one lousy soul.
Santa's house appeared eerily silent
But inside the fat man was hungry, was violent
.

This workshop of toys for kids of all ages
Was filled with elves quaking in cages.
Who woke up from their long winter's naps
To find themselves snared in a devious trap.


Hours before I had been bingeing on nog
Passed out under the bed, I spied the whole saga.
I saw all my brothers rounded up in cages.
Sleepy victims of wicked midnight rampages.


Then what to my horrified eyes should appear
But a wild-eyed Santa pinching an elf by the ear.
Each little sprite shook in their tights and boots.
That this monster was Santa, no one could refute.


His size and his beard gave him away as St. Nick
His fangs and his scales made me quite sick
Blood seemed to stain his white fluffy trim
He was hunched, drooling, and disgustingly slim.

"Come little helper! Climb into my maw!"
He laughed, then casually ate the elf raw.
He greedily sucked the imp's hide off the bone
I was awed! I was scared! I was truly alone!


Dainty elf paws clutched bars and cried
Drunk on deinal; confounded by why.
(He lost his count during his murderous spree
Thought he'd rounded up most, but forgot about me!)


His hunger was wracking his hunched-over frame
With a crippling appetite that didn't know shame.
"Don't eat us! We love you! Look at our faces!"
The doomed little elves made their sad cases


But Santa ignored them with a swipe of his fist
Pulled out some parchment and started a list:
"Silence, you nuggets – I'm trying to think
Who to char-broil, who to blend into drink.


Who to dice, fillet, bake or panfry
Who to boil in soup, who to stuff in a pie"
These taunts seemed so strange to come from a man
Who held the dreams of children in his hands


Teeth full of gristle, he then sadly revealed
To his captive chorus of angel-faced veal,
That humans are greedy, petty, drunk on their vices.
And each Yuletide revel exacts gruesome prices


These prices are paid by the magical gnomes
Who hammer the toys that clutter up homes.
The payment's a life – one for each holiday sin.

Delivered by Santa, after his joyful break-ins.

Perhaps he was cursed by the Easter Bunny

Or an April Fool's jester who thought it'd be funny.

The Great Pumpkin, Jack Frost or just maybe –
That jealous and bratty New Years Eve baby.

Maybe it was a clue, how well we were fed
On cookies, cakes, lard balls and bread.
But our nature's to love, not to distrust.
So we hugged the fat Claus's and finished each crust.


Ignorant to what would soon transpire
We'd collapse in heaps by the crackling fire.
Expecting the old man to come flying back
And start making next years toys for his sack.


But how does he have enough sprites for his belly?
The final act of sorrow starts as fetal elf jelly.
That ferments inside his wife until it's a broth
Filled with thimble-sized elves that surge forth like froth.


And these newborn elves, spawned pure from her womb.
Don't understand: their workshop is really a tomb
Their dimples are gumdrops, they sneeze pixie dust.
Santa doesn't hate them – he's cursed with a lust.


Elves are packed with vitamins A, C, and E
We're awfully juicy, tart yet also fruity,
We go well with gravy and mayonnaise and toast
But casserole is how Santa likes us the most.


Barbequed, fricasseed, or flambéed
Sunny-side up, shish-ka-bobbed or flayed.
Prepared anyway, our flesh is quite delicious
And it's not like toy-happy children will miss us.


Goodbye Carl, Zud, Sprinkles and Jan!
Blossom, Hortense, Cobweb, and Stan!
Julie, Miss Knickers, Fidget, and Ralph.
I'm sorry you're dead, you wonderful elf.


A mouthed greased with fat, Santa then hibernated.
As Mrs. Claus squatted and grossly gestated
And all that is left of my cherubic siblings.
Was a pile of bells, curly-toed boots – mostly elf things

So much for good cheer! But don't shed a tear:
This gruesome cycle has happened for hundreds of years.
And as the fist to survive Father's murderous rout
In a month I stopped hiding and got the hell out."

Now I spend my days soaking under a sun like a yolk
(Yeah, I wish I'd have saved all or some of my folk)
I now have a tan where the rum's in supply.
Sewing up flags for Captain Fourth of July.

Courtesy : Comedy Central

Movie review - 1408

To be honest if you are a pussy cat - Cheshire, stray or whatever, this movie is definitely not for you. No offense eh. The first half and few scenes in the second half of this movie just shook me up BIG time and I would rate this as one of the best ghost/spooky movies I have had ever seen.

Well anyway the movie has it's own share of the old adage which is like when someone says don't do something, just shut everything up and just follow. There has to be a reason right. The protagonist is the one whom you might want to call him as a messed up teenager, not that he is that young in the movie, just that he does something which people say don't do - he is a ghost hunter, he is an amazing writer who takes interest in writing and exploring haunted locations and falsify them or atleast comes with some evidences and rates the scariest places he has been to. Samuel L Jackson,a.k.a SJ the antagonist, well not really an antagonist but I would still like to call him that for he has this "cryptic" role where his eyes and bodies say one thing where as his body relates to an another point. Great role for him considering he would have been in and out of the minute for like 10-20 minutes!

John typical of his job is on the look out for doing something interesting and fascinating which is nothing more than going to an another haunted location for he believes that there exists no ghosts as we are not protected by any god ! One day he chances upon this unusual ad for this classy hotel - Dolphin hotel where room number 1408 is haunted. Curiosity gets better of him and he does his little research to find that there are like close to 56 gory deaths in that room and later finds that the hotel guys don't leave that room for occupancy. Jesus, SJ asks the guy not to get in there and John dissuades him and gets into 1408. How he convinces him are some good dialogues and the whole drama begins to unfold and pace of the movie steps up to another level. Scary, mystery, artistic and John Cussack, to me, emerges out as a great actor. I mean, so many times it is just so easy to get carried away with either the screenplay or the dialogue or say the acting abilities. John has done a great job with role.

The manager, SJ, tells/challenges John that not anyone has survived more than an hour in the freaking room and as maverick as a teen, John brushes the fact and challenges to get in and prove the whole fact as a myth. To me this was the moment I started to hold my seat fast.

Another thing 1408 has going in its favor is a score that’s effective yet unobtrusive. And the film’s special effects, including a flood, an ice storm, and a fire, outdo the work done in some of 2007’s summer blockbusters that devoted hundreds of millions more dollars to the CGI work.

1408’s a real white-knuckle ride with half a dozen good jumpy scares. When Cusack closes the hotel suite’s door behind him 30 minutes into the film, the audience is trapped right there with him as he falls victim to one paranormal experience after another. 1408’s a room none of us would want to visit in real life but one everyone should spend some time in while in the safety of a darkened theater. Released in the midst of sequels and remakes and knock offs, 1408 is a real original that stands out and stands above the rest of the summer movie madness.

And as dog headed person I am, I found a few discrepancy in the movie:

Mistake #1

When John first enters room 1408, there are three light switches on the wall. He flicks on two of them. A few seconds later, you see the switches behind him, but it is two different switches that have been flicked.

Mistake #2

After slamming his hand in the window, John bangs on the front door leaving blood on the left side of the map on the door. Later in the film, there is blood on both sides.

Mistake #3

After using his Infra red light to search the room, John switches on the bedroom light, showing the one chocolate that should still be on the pillow is gone. The next shot of the pillow shows the chocolate is still there.

Mistake #4

When John goes to the window to call for help, his Doppelgänger across the street is mimicking John's every move. After waving their arms in mirror-image synchronicity, John leans to his right slowly, and so does the doppelganger but it should have leaned to it's own left to mirror John's movement. BUSTED ! All its other movements are exact mirror images.

Finally, if you still persist go for it and watch it. But for the other pussy cats don't go to room number 1408 ! And don't feel admonished over my comments. For weak hearted this surely is NOT a movie.

I would give this a 9 er on 10 - I love this movie but !

Santa - Oh thy shall also have a conspirator.

Yea, I finally found the conspirator of the long lasting myth - Did Santa ever existed [OR] was he killed and the specialists would be appalled by what happened. Look at the video to see who killed Santa. He actually existed in this world, I think. I am quite stunned myself.

See the video for the funny explanation !

Movie review - Superbad

A cool, funny, rated teen comedy flick. Great movie and for all those grown ups who still have their heart beating faster for teen movies, I am sure this is going to be an apple to the eye.

As always, typical to the teen flicks, there are boys wanted to mingle with girls to do the jingle.

This is what they have to say about this movie - review.

I would give it a 9er on 10 coz for me it was an absolute entertainer, fun and no tension moments when I saw the movie. Go for it !

Pictures speaks sometimes

Why should you love a woman - either in moderation or to a large extend:

In that high note, here is a remainder why you have to be "good" to women. They got this 'dog-sense'. Read on...

A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, "Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."

The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. Later, he says, "Okay Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The one on the right." " That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

The Indian mother replies, " I don't like her " ....!!

Joke time !

Blonde and Waitress

Q: What did the blond customer say after reading the buxom waitress' name tag?

A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one?''

Shirts Off

A woman sat on a plane heading for New York, when the pilot announces that because of difficulties with the plane's engines, he must make an emergency landing.

The woman, fearing that this may be the end of her life looks over to a man sitting next to her and rips her shirt and bra off, and throws herself on him. "Make me feel like a woman again!" she screamed.

So the man rips his shirt off and hands it to her. "Iron this."

Blonde

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears?

"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ... what happened to your other ear?"

"The s.o.b. called back."

The Blonde and Her Melons

This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.

The guy asks, ''What are you carrying?''

''Melons,'' the blonde replies.

''Cool," the guy says. "If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?''

The blonde giggles and says, ''If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them.''

Who Let The Blondes Out?

How many blondes does it take to milk a cow?

Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.

Heaven and Hell

John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends. One night, they both died in a terrible car accident.

When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere. Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can't find him!"

St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn't make it to Heaven."

This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time. St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other.

John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I'm in the right place?"

"My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn't!"

Drunken Man and Blonde

After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, "You wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The person replies, "I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?"

The man thinks for a while and replies, "Not if I have to explain it three times."

Brunette Meets Genie

A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.

The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much."

The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house."

The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two."

The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man."

The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two."

The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."

Blonde Millionaire

A blond named Barbara appeared on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. ...
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far, $500,000 and one lifeline left--phone a friend. The next question will give you the first ever million dollars if you get it right.... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000...are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure I'll have a go."
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it...
A-Robin, B-Sparrow, C-Cuckoo or D-Thrush
Remember, Barbara, it's worth 1 million dollars."
Barbara: "Oh, gees, that's simple.... it’s a cuckoo."
Regis: "You're sure? You can stick on $500,000 or play on for the million."
Barbara: "I want to play; I'll go with C-Cuckoo."
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Barbara: "It is"
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Absolutely"
Regis: "Barbara, you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo. Well....you' re right! You have just won 1 MILLION DOLLARS!!!! Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."
That night Barbara calls her friend Carol and they go to a local bar for a celebration drink.
As they are sipping champagne, Carol turns to Barbara and asks, "Tell me, how in God's name did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?"
"Get real!"
Barbara replies, "Everybody knows cuckoos live in clocks!"

First class Blondie

A beautiful young blond woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in coach.

The blond replies, "I'm young, blond and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."

Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blond problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in coach.

Again, the blond replies, "I'm young, blond and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."

The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blond with the co-pilot. The co-pilot says that he has a blond girlfriend, and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something into the blonde's ear.

She immediately gets up, says, "Thank you so much," hugs the co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the coach section. The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he had said to the woman.

He replies, "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to LA."

Blonde's death row

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"

Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"

And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"

Le Parfumerie y le Blonde


One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi."

The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me."

So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."

The Blonde's Special Order

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde went to an ice cream parlor together. The brunette went up and asked for a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream. The counter man was confused, but gave her a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream.

The redhead went up and asked for a single dip of vanilla ice cream with Pepsi poured over it. The man was really confused now. But he gave the redhead her order.

The blonde was listening to the other two women and thought that she should have a ''special order'' too. So she went up and asked for an extra-large root beer, but hold the roots.

Three Girls Meet the Fairy

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy. The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells "Eagle!" She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away. The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out "Salmon!" She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn. The blonde is at this point so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish. She panics.
"Crap!"

Two Blondes and a Camel

Every day two blonde women would come out of work together and look for their car. But all the cars in the lot looked the same, so they sat around until all the cars were gone and then they would get in the last car and go home. One blonde said to the other, ''We need to find a faster way to get home.'' So the next day they went to work on a camel. After work they came out and the parking lot was full of camels. So the first blonde went around lifting up the tails of all the camels. The second blonde said, ''What are you doing?'' The first blonde said, ''When we came in today I heard someone yell "'Look at those two assholes on that camel!!'"

The Blonde & The Coke Machine

It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke. She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out - so she kept putting money in.

And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her. Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!"

And the blonde said, "No way. I'm still winning!"

Expression

I have had thought in the recent past on which would be a most effective medium of expression and communication, without a bat of the eye I decided it was Internet. Whenever I have an answer for a random, ubiquitous question, I am glad and think I have lived a successful life - call it a great metamorphosis, great ability to think and find answers to obscure questions.

Hitherto, how wrong I was until I found that there are a million other ways of successful expression sans internet. I found a bunch of 'hard liners' conveyed 'soft' when I was again experiencing random internet browsing pattern. Sometimes, we get so busy and serious with our lives by running behind many 'material' successes and blaming ourselves if we miss out on the 'bus to big buck'. If only we saw around us just for that wee bit of a second, then I guess we would not complain about ourselves much. Anyway, without digressing to another topic of concern, think about a powerful, impacting medium, Ads for a minute to see how many things are told in a small space. How much of a profound impact it has on the people everywhere - near and far. It did have an impact on me !

Listed below are all time top advertisements - Courtesy "this link".

1) Homelessness in Portugal

The underside of lids on public trash cans in Portugal read "Help. So that no one has to come here food."

2) Homelessness in the United Kingdom

These stickers placed on trash cans read, "Your trash is someone else's food.

3)Homelessness in Brazil

These floor stickers that appeared to have a child actually under the streets were used in Brazil. Copy read, "Help a child escape the streets. Donate to our children's villages in Brazil.

4) Homelessness in Brazil

This Salvation Army ad ran in newspapers throughout Brazil. The ad consisted of the clothing outline in the middle and the following copy in the bottom right hand corner:" Donate Clothes. 5562-2285 www.exercitodasalvacao.org.br. We make do with what we don't have."

5)Homelessness in South Africa

This print ad from the Salvation Army ran throughout South Africa. The copy read, "Any old clothes will do. You wouldn't be caught dead in them but, for a homeless person, they could mean the difference between life and death. Please donate your unwanted clothes to the homeless this winter."

6)Homelessness in India

These tent cards were placed around coffee shops and restaurants in India. They showed a child hidden in the middle of the card and the copy read, "Over two lakh children live in places you can never imagine.

7)Homelessness in Ireland

According to Ads of the World, an Irish charity that helps the homeless created these ads by taking 6 sheets of battered cardboard, handwritten and then inserted into the Adshell spaces around Dublin.

8)Homelessness in the United States

Similar to the trash can ads from Portugal and the UK, this trash can creates awareness by placing nutrition information on the outside of these trash bins.

9)Homelessness in the United States

Similar to the billboards used in India above, these bench advertisements brought full awareness of a serious issue to those using the benches.

10) Homelessness in India again

This billboard brings awareness of homelessness to those walking and driving by in India.

What do you think of these ads? Do you think they are powerful? Do these ads help promote awareness of homelessness/poverty? Atleast now everyone who can afford an piecemeal should not put the hands up and complain much. Think about the rest and that sure is a leveler and it prompts us to "help them, help us".

Challenges boys face.

This is NOT my creation but it is one of the coolest write-up that I have read in the recent times.This is a classic Dave Barry column that was originally published on Sept. 26, 1999.

Read on and enjoy it.

So I was at this party, and I wound up at a table where three attractive single women were complaining about - Surprise! - men. Specifically, they were complaining about the pickup lines that had been used on them in a bar a few nights earlier.

One woman said: ''This guy comes up to me and says, 'Are you a teacher?' I mean, is that supposed to be romantic?''

All three women rolled all six of their eyes.

Another one of them said: ''This guy says to me, 'I've been looking at you all night!' So I go, 'Hel-LO, we just GOT here.'''

At this point all three women - and I want to stress that these are intelligent, nice women - were laughing. Not me. I was feeling bad for the guys.

I realize that there are certain hardships that only females must endure, such as childbirth, waiting in lines for public-restroom stalls, and a crippling, psychotic obsession with shoe color. Also, females tend to reach emotional maturity very quickly, so that by age 7 they are no longer capable of seeing the humor in loud inadvertent public blasts of flatulence, whereas males can continue to derive vast enjoyment from this well into their 80s.

So I grant that it is not easy being a female. But I contend that nature has given males the heaviest burden of all: the burden of always having to Make the First Move, and thereby risk getting Shot Down. I don't know WHY males get stuck with this burden, but it's true throughout the animal kingdom. If you watch the nature shows on the Discovery Channel, you'll note that whatever species they are talking about - birds, crabs, spiders, clams - it is ALWAYS the male who has to take the initiative. It's always the male bird who does the courting dance, making a total moron of himself, while the female bird just stands there, looking aloof, and thinking about what she's going to tell her girlfriends. (''And then he hopped around on one foot! Like I'm supposed to be impressed by THAT!'').

Male insects have it the worst. The Discovery Channel announcer is always saying things like: ''After the mating, the female mantis bites off the male mantis' head, and then she and her girlfriend mantises use it to play a game that looks a lot like Skee Ball.''

Because I live in Florida, my patio is basically a giant singles bar for lizards. On any given day during mating season, I'll see dozens of male lizards out there making their most suave lizard move, which consists of inflating and deflating a red pouch under their chins. They seem to think that female lizards really go for a guy with a big chin pouch, but I have never once, in 14 years of close observation, seen a female respond. They just squat there looking bored, while all around them males are blinking on and off like defective warning lights.

Every now and then you'll see an offbeat TV news story about some animal, usually a moose, that has for some reason fallen in love with, and decided to relentlessly court, something totally inappropriate, such as a lawn tractor. This animal is ALWAYS a male. On the TV, they show it hanging around the lawn tractor with a big, sad, moony look, totally smitten, while the lawn tractor cruelly ignores it.

My point here is that, in matters of the heart, males have the brains of a walnut. No, wait! That is not my point. My point is that perhaps you women could cut us males a little bit of slack in the move-making process, because we are under a lot of stress. I vividly remember when I was in 10th grade, and I wanted to call a girl named Patty and ask her to a dance, and before I picked up the phone, I spent maybe 28 hours rehearsing exactly what I was going to say. So when I actually made the call, I was pretty smooth.

''Hello, Dance?'' I said. ''This is Patty. Do you want to go to the Dave with me?''

Fortunately Patty grasped the basic thrust of my gist and agreed to go to the dance. This was a good thing, because if she had shot me down, I would have been so humiliated that I would have never have been able to go back to school. I would have dropped out of 10th grade and lied about my age and joined the U.S. armed forces, and as a direct result the Russians would have won the Cold War.

That is the awesome power that you women have over us men. I hope you understand this, and the next time a guy walks up and uses some incredibly lame, boneheaded line on you, I hope that, instead of laughing at him, you will remember that he is under the intense pressure of wanting to impress you enough so that you might want to get to know him better and maybe eventually, perhaps within the next 15 minutes, marry him, thereby enabling the survival of the human race, which believe me is the only thing that we males are truly concerned about.

In conclusion, let me just say to all females everywhere, on behalf of all males everywhere, that you are very beautiful and your eyes are like two shining stars, unless you're a female fly, in which case your eyes are more like 2,038 shining stars. So please give us a chance. And if you're not interested, could you introduce us to your lawn tractor?

Sins of the father and Blood - Beowulf review

A 11th Century, an old English poem totally 3000+ lines put into a movie, ended up what I saw yesterday. Beowulf is a 3-D representation of humans and a great piece of technological work that. The men, women, dragon and the location - scenic beauty, everything that came when the movie progressed was a treat to the eye.

I would personally give it an all fiver. The actually have set us up for part 2 as well. So I would not be surprised should another version come out soon. What was so beautiful about the movie was you could actually see the women close and their eyes getting lost in the hero - Beowulf's eyes, as though it were real. And we in south India, thought making an Idiot in the local film industry look 'white' in a song for an ultra stupid movie, was an herculean task! Whoever concerned should actually take a leaf out of this movie.

Though some scenes,where Beowulf does the backward somersaults when fighting Grendel, an ugly looking creature, a bit plastic and more like a video game. Shame that Angelina Jolie did not stay long put in the movie. She did her part - seducing the hero, whoever thought such scenes were a depiction of tough day at office in Ms. Jolie's world. I thought the movie had a few great punch liners too. I can recall without the twitch in the eye, "Sins of the father" , "I don't carry the burden no more" - when the King talks to Beowulf before he commits a big,brave jump into the rocky, sea shore only to die. Fantastic effect. The girls that come in the movie have no less beauty compared to the real ones. They seem to be ethereal beauties and my, do they look pretty and nice or what !

The purists and critic sites, Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic, feel against the movie. Some of the changes made by the film to the original poem, which have been the subject of discussion by teachers and scholars, include: the style and tone of the dialog; the portrayal of Beowulf as a flawed man; the addition of Christian elements; the hedonism in Heorot and which kingdom Beowulf becomes ruler of; the portrayal of Grendel's mother's as a "seductress" and her seductions of Hrothgar (making him the father of Grendel) and Beowulf (making him the father of the dragon) as well as the elimination of the battle sequence between Grendel's mother and Beowulf which (in the poem) ends with her death; the portrayal of King Hrothgar as a "hedonistic lout," or "a drunk and womanizer" and the elimination of his two sons with Wealtheow; Wiglaf's role; and the nature of Beowulf's funeral.

For fun and nice moments, it sure is a great movie to see and hope you don't see this with the Indian crowd especially the ones in Madras. Totally idiotic and they go crazy with their Mobile phones crying out as loud as it gets in the middle of the movie or their ways of screaming and shouting to appreciate the scenes or their non stop gibberish and boisterous laughter in the middle of the movie for the parallel conversation they seem to have. I don't know when sanity would prevail in their otherwise empty heads.

Lonely Hearts - Movie Review

Oh! Another Travolta movie and I was dead sure I was going to go see it. No matter how it was. This time around I just did not visit the Rotten Tomatoes for their review before I booked by ticket. I just had this intuitive feeling this was a good movie and it just did not disappoint me any bit. Though the idiots who came along to watch the movie in the theatre were a big big disappointment. To them English movie would mean couple of hot unimaginable moments, stunt, fight, car chase and jarring music to finish it. This movie was anything but that. Pretty much a recitation of a real life incident that happened in the late 1940's when a guy called Raymond someone goes into the killing spree. Though he would be a miserable dork when it came to wooing a lady from Spain. Though he did manage in the beginning when he contacted her through a tabloid article - Lonely Hearts. Basically people around used this column to exhibit their interests to meet opposite sex. Should I relate this line to our own famous www.tamilmatrimony.com !

Anyway, the shrewd guy managed to woo them all; when the ladies and Ray start communicating with each other by letters, he would then interest them in comin and meetin with Ray. And that was when hell was coming home for Christmas ! As always, Ray tried to make Martha believe by his usual act, she did not fall for it and thus became accomplice of Ray. Salma Hayek played Martha's role. Boy she was good in that role or what. I hated her in the movie because of that character.

They tag team and go around like brother sister pair and target people from the Lonely Hearts column in the tabloid and then finish them up for money. The way they go about doing it is like spine chilling. When finally they are caught, Ray says, it was an accident that about 20 women were killed. I accept but i am scared of the electric chair. Suddenly you feel sorry for the guy. Wait. I am not taking side of this guy. When the lady Martha would be interrogated, she would say, I made Ray kill them all coz I loved him and he loved me. I wanted to make sure he was just mine and he would do anything for me. I thought for a second, sigh, look what love made to Ray.

He prolly would have lived like a flirt, would have had banged a few and yet would have gotten away. Now under the pretext of love, how much the women vilified and slandered the poor guy ! Whatever, I would cover that feeling in my next post, whenever I would write. But these acts in the past and present is just a remainder to us all that there are idiots living around us. Trying to prey us all the time.

In the end, I would strongly recommend this Independent movie and personally would give it a 4 on a 5. Glad, they made a movie like this !

Why Do You Have To Be So Hard To Love


Was it some man that didn't treat you right
Left you reaching out for him in the middle of the night
Is there some heartache that you can't out run
That makes you so afraid to get close to anyone
You're so - easy to look at
You're so easy to hold
It's so easy to touch you - but so hard to let go
It's so easy to want you - that I can't get enough
Tell me why do ya have to be
Why do ya have to be so hard to love
Is it some hurt from long ago
That makes it so hard to let your feelings show
Is it the ghost of who you used to be
That makes you so afraid to bear your soul to me.

You're so - easy to look at

You're so easy to hold

It's so easy to touch you - but so hard to let go

It's so easy to want you - that I can't get enough

Tell me why do ya have to be

Why do ya have to be so hard to love

- Expressed Nicely by Bryan Adams.

Wedding bells are ringing !

Well then that is not exactly what I wanted to make it sound like. It is my brother who is getting married and I would not be in town for about 1 week and chances are that I might be sporadic on my comments or blog notes when I am in Germany. I will come back and promise to write more or perhaps rant about the experience there ;)

I am looking forward to this event and hope to have a nice time around. Until then, take it easy.

Why Love bites?

Oh no that was not my recent experience but usually this is the common phenomena every where I see. Not that I detest or loathe the real idea of that but I still wonder why it is like that? I know for real no one in this phase of earth - not even any animal or not even the Neanderthal man could have avoided. If not, we never would have existed. However, If it is so important and hard to be left alone event, why is it that we hurt ourselves in the process. Perhaps the feeling is like holding on to a hot gas balloon in winter thinking it will give us all the warmth forever; fact is if held for a long time, it sure has a ripping effect.

Now I don't mean to even misconstrue the whole idea of this love and being loved. The fact is most of us at some point of time hold the cards closer to our chest and end up being too passionate about the other person, leaving the actual feeling alone. What this ends up being is a Butterfly effect(Scientific phenomena more technically the "sensitive dependence on initial conditions" which is an essence of chaos). As in the website reference point, for some people the chaos factor is limited because of several reasons and for some unfortunate ones it is trauma since it starts.

Knowing this why is it that every living organism in the world feels secured and wanted by go into the abyss and love to experience butterflies in the stomach? BTW, butterflies in the stomach is a medical condition characterized by the physical sensation of a "fluttery" (hence butterflies) feeling in the stomach. Some believe that this is caused by the release of epinephrine, or adrenaline, when one is nervous, pulling blood away from the stomach and sending it to the muscles. Butterflies in the stomach is most often experienced prior to important events, when stress is induced, but can be experienced in situations of impending danger. Now, we have an internal signal too to decipher impending danger and yet we crave and want to experience this? Why? I always wondered, though I know there is nothing as good as the feeling when you like someone and are wanting and waiting to hear from them. However it is the disappointment and pain that keeps accruing with every minute of possessive experience. I personally am disturbed seeing few things happen to people in real life and they find themselves in hapless position. Why this misgiving?

I am still not clear and I do more research on "Why we love and why love bites". Tell you what this is one nice research analysis LOL. The more I look around to find the meaning and reason for love - good and bad, I am confronted by several theories justifying love - Scientific, Psychological, Biological, Formulaic Models etc etc. There are websites that have made a living out of the Love Sign compatibilities and matches based on each of the theories mentioned above.

I was compelled to stratify love into several phases and then was sure why love falls off in the middle for some people, why it never took off for some and why it lasts like a charm for some. I appreciate Robert Sternberg's "Triangular theory of love". Details entail the basic phenomena of love between man and woman. It is quite compelling and quite demonstrative.

The size of the triangle functions to represent the amount of love - the bigger the triangle the greater the love. The shape of the triangle functions to represent the kind of love, which typically varies over the course of the relationship: passion-stage (right-shifted triangle), intimacy-stage (apex-triangle), commitment-stage (left-shifted triangle), typically.

However, is'nt the theory with respect to any relationship we have with other humans around us - Friends, Family, Siblings, Enemies, Acquaintances, Colleagues, Class mates etc? Then why is it that it hurts the most when the relationship between the man and the woman goes for a toss? Why is it that we still want that X-Factor in life even after we slipped and hurt ourself once? Why is it that we feel complete when we love again (or for the first time)? Why is it that when you are in love you can't breathe or think right? Why is the feeling different?

I don't know but as much as the theory holds the ground, it is upto us to find appropriate personalities who can compliment our feelings and vice versa. A lion just cannot fall in love with a rat ! If it does it is not because of love but because of compassion. I realized this in my personal life as well and for love to be all successful, I think it is the opposites that attract each other the most. And may be at the end of it there are few questions that can never be answered and this question in me could as well be a mighty contender for more years to come ! But as of now I just have no idea why we love and why love bites.

Friday Movie Review - Shoot 'Em up => "Dine in hell"

Are you tired of all those heartless, senseless, generic and cliché, action-driven Hollywood films? That honor style and blood over character and plot? Well then I have news for you: don't go see "Shoot Em' Up". But it's a shame that you won't. The film I pointed to and said 'that's what film-making has come to these days; all attitude and no heart', turns out to be the most fun and riotous satire I've seen in a long time.

However, it is one of the great ways to screw up your mood is to watch a movie with zero story line, zero performance, zero 'believable' stunt topped with a sultry heroine action. A friend of mine and I watched this forsaken movie called "Shoot 'Em up". I should have realized this was a disaster in making before but my friend said rotten tomatoes gave a 69% rating. Hmm.. FUCKING SADISTIC CHEATERS. We said in chorus after the end of the movie. What do I even have to critic about the movie. It was like bull shit all wound up in a satin cloth sprayed with the oomph factor spray and the director threw it straight on the audience ! What a nice feeling?

But this however made me think a little bit, apart from bitching about the movie. I did a little research and found that this movie has actually got the following rating from all the movie watchers.

The demographic split is below:The user report (per age) split is below:

I reckon the rating is on 10 and 7.6 would mean a good movie?? I am still surprised coz I am advocating for a -2 for this. OK lemme give you a few plots and you figure out what the movie is made up of. Say what would you do when a person breaks both middle fingers and one of your thumb in your hands and he is chasing you and got you point blank? Perhaps die. Heck no. The hero in this movie decided otherwise. When he was chased, he kept about 5 bullets in the webbings in the hand and goes and keeps his hand on the fire(in the fire place) and guess what the heat from the fire makes the bullets spring out in real speed and all the bullets hit the villain and he falls down "UNCONSCIOUS" for sometime. HELLO - Bullets don't cause or contribute to drowsiness. He wakes up again !

If this one part, in another sequence the supposedly claimed hero jumps out of an aeroplane (flying at 35,000 altitude!) with his parachute and soon there are close to a dozen who jump out with machine guns and start firing as they go free fall. No bullets hits the hero. And we are still free falling and for some reason, the guy controls his free fall to catch up with the mates who are also free falling and basically kills everyone of them at several points of time and suddenly a chopper comes up at around say the 1000th altitude mark and a few are severed too with the blades doing the job. However, the hero is still active and has escaped the chopper blades and "lands" on the ground only to find all the dead bodies of the people that he killed to be on the same vicinity where he landed !

Oh I have to say this. This scene was a rip off. Now the hero has a fast car chase sequence where he shoots at the wind shield of the car and breaks it open. There is this head on collision sort of thing with another car nearing his car at a real cool pace. Now the entire theatre is on the edge of seat. Well not to be worried what would happen to the hero but we are hoping the head on collision works and atleast for once the hero is injured. Folks in my row were optimistic he was going to die. Director thought otherwise. The hero with a 'clear' vision from his car, rips the wind shield of the oncoming fast car/van. Now with clear view, there is this head on collision. BANG, BOOM. The hero is seen flying out of his car into the other car through the wind shield (praise the precision and foresight of the driver that he would only go through the wind shield) and the fella is now into the enemies van and the killers hired to kill him are all so flummoxed that they don't know what to do. The hero in context goes straight to the back of the van and falls on his back only to get up fast and fire 4-6 bullets and everyone dead !

He does not stop there. He kills the Senator this way too and case is closed without any doubts, kills about roughly 450-600 people with automated guns, saves a pregnant lady, has fun with the Italian actress, Monica Bellucci - wonder why she agreed to act in this movie !!

Why did the director steel my sunshine, I wondered? Friday, weekend spirit and movie and BANG we just had a bad taste of the movie. In short the film takes the best cartoon elements, makes them flesh, and still kicks in that over the top craziness. Bad puns that are so bad they're good, action sequences that there just for the sake of having an action sequence, and the wildest sex scene ever...it's amazing. The whole project, through controlled chaos and witty abandon, is made as a single, continuous in-joke. As in most films that take themselves too seriously, Clive Owen's hero (enigmatically titled Mr. Smith) quite literally never stops shooting. He shoots while having sex, he shoots while in the middle of free-fall, he shoots the umbilical cord off of a baby, he shoots with his fingers broken. Davis takes over-the-top to a whole new level; poking fun at action movies by taking their ridiculousness to its brinking point.

In the end, I give a thumbs down to it and if there is anything below zero, I would suggest that as how I truly felt. However, to people who like characters who call themselves hero's of south - Rajnikanth, Vijaykanth, Chiranjevi etc etc, your taste buds would be mighty satisfied to have seen this movie.