10 nations with highest inflation

Courtesy "The Economist".

The Indian people and the government are both quaking with fear with inflation hovering at around 8%. The people can barely make two ends meet with prices soaring, and the government knows that if prices don't fall, the government will.

But India is not the only nation grappling with rising inflation. The entire world is. So which are the nations with highest inflation rates? Read on.

1. Zimbabwe: 355,000%!

The inflation in Zimbabwe for the month of March 2008 rose to 355,000%! Yes, 355,000 per cent! It more than doubled from the February figure of 165,000%.

Economists say that it is a miracle that the Zimbabwean economy is still surviving and prices have been rising to unprecedented proportions. Inflation surged between February and March following the sudden rise in money supply that flooded the economy to finance the 2008 elections. Apart from this food and non-alcoholic beverages continued to drive up inflation.

Almost 80% of the nation is unemployed. The Zimbabwean central bank has introduced $500 million bearer cheques (or currency notes) for the public, and $5 billion, $25 billion, $50 billion agro-cheques for farmers. Just last fortnight the nation had introduced $250 million bearer cheques.

A sausage sandwich sells for Zimbabwean $50 million. A 15-kg bag of potatoes cost Zimbabwean $260 million. But then, Zimbabwean $50 million is roughly equal to US$ 1!

Image: A Zimbabwean man holds up a new $500-million note on May 16, 2008 in Harare. | Photograph: Desmond Kwande/AFP/Getty Images

2. Iraq: 53.2%

War-torn Iraq is also facing a huge problem, not only on the political front but also on the economic one. Inflation in Iraq is running amuck. It currently stands at 53.2%.
Rising oil prices, political instability, terrorism and the other post-conflict dynamics have led to inflation in the nation rise to unmanageable proportions
Some hurried counter-by the Iraqi central bank to curb inflation too have added fuel to the fire.

Image: An Iraqi money changer holds a handful of Iraqi currency in central Baghdad. | Photograph: Sabah Arar/AFP/Getty Images

3. Guinea: 30.9%

Guinea is also one of the world's poorest countries. The inflation in the nation is at 30.9%.
Although blessed with rich mineral wealth -- with huge iron ore, gold and diamond deposits -- Guinea has been languishing as one of the poorest nations on earth with large-scale unemployment, lack of industry and infrastructure dogging it.

4. San Tome and Principe: 23.1%

The mainstay of the economy of San Tome and Principe, an African nation, is agriculture. The main export from the nation is cocoa. It also exports coconut, coffee, etc.
The current inflation rate in San Tome and Principe is at 23.1%.
The country does not produce enough to meet domestic demand and thus is forced to import some essential commodities. With prices of food and other essential items rising in the global markets, imports for the nation have become almost unsustainable, leading to high prices and inflation.
The nation has undertaken myriad measure to reform the economy, but it is still early days and the results of liberalisation will only be noticeable over a period of time.

5. Yemen: 20.8%

Yemen is going through terrible times. The Yemini economy is experiencing an inflation rate of 20.8%.
More than 87% of Yemenis live for less than $2 a day. About 52% of children less than 5 years old suffer from malnutrition.
Most of the people are engaged in agriculture, followed by the services and infrastructure sectors, while unemployment is rampant at 35 per cent.

6. Myanmar: 20%

Myanmar is one of the world's poorest nations. It has suffered immensely under military rule for decades and has been categorised as one of the 'least developed countries' in the world by the United Nations. Its inflation rate is at 20%.
The economy of Myanmar is mostly controlled by the military junta leaving little room for private entrepreneurship or growth.
The military regime has also decided to do away with all reforms suggested by economists, throwing the nation's economy into further turmoil.

7. Uzbekistan: 19.8%

Uzbekistan is slowly moving from a somewhat closed to a market-based economy. The economic reforms have helped achieve some growth, but not nearly as much as the nation would ideally like to enjoy.
Also, lack of infrastructure, tight state control over the economy, occasional skirmishes with neighbouring nations, and an unstable political environment have seen inflation rise sharply here. The nation's inflation rate is at 19.8% currently.

8. Democratic Republic of Congo: 18.2%

Global investors do not feel that the Republic of Congo has a foreigner-friendly investment environment as it does not offer any incentive to the investor. Added to that a disorganised yet costly work force, high electricity costs, irregular supply of raw material, occasional civil unrest, political instability have only added to Congo's woes.
And even as the nation grapples with its myriad problems, the Congolese economy has been going from bad to worse. And its current rate of inflation is 18.2%.

9. Afghanistan: 17%

Afghanistan has long been a theatre of conflict and that has affected its economy adversely. Perpetual battles, an environment of fear, lack of infrastructure, industry and services has led to a once-proud nation turn into one of the world's poorest. The inflation rate in Afghanistan is at 17%.
The influx of billions of dollars of international aid has not really helped the economy much, although it is supposed to be much better now than it was in 2002

10. Serbia: 15.5%

Serbia's fragile economy, which mostly rests on agriculture, services and some manufacturing activity, has been going through a reform process for a long time. However, economic sanctions that were imposed on the nations in the 1990s have hit Serbia's economy so hard that its myriad economic problems continue to this day.
Unemployment is rampant, foreign investment is down to a trickle, foreign exchange reserves are low, and political instability are keeping good projects from taking off.
Although the nation is growing at a robust pace, the rising inflation -- currently at 15.5% -- is hurting the Serbian economy.

How to grow beard in 90 seconds?

You think it is not possible? Wait up before you conclude, this is the funniest video. Watch on

Yo, Gangsta, what's with the drinking story yo?

Well it was nothing about me into the drinking issue but the recent edition of Outlook (India's weekly news magazine), which was going non stop about the women in recent past taking to drinking and the effects on them. It reminded me about how stupidly women (particularly Indian women complained and nodded about men going to sleep after sex, they forgot they do the role of 'dead logs' beyond anyone's belief!) complain and blame men going south immediately when they get intimate. Anyway, I will talk about this later sometime.

There is a point to those complaints but then what I was thinking hard was why are women being nailed down by these moral police. I read that article and all I saw was that there was some loser women group who over did the drinking habits and became addicts. The case same as some men who indulge in sleep therapy after sex or over drink and become a menace. Now what has this to do with the increasing women group taking to drinks. To have generalized that the middle class, growingly confident, financially independent women - Drink a lot, was an awful story liner to start with.

I understand there are repercussions when you over do this but then, tell me honestly, do you think there is any activity which women or men can do without being castrated as being social outcasts (Other than being in the house) and then experience no stress, and to expect all good things happen to them. This is a new age and I think whether you drink or party or smoke or don't practice sex or don't annoy the moral police, you will be nailed down easy with the increasing stress patterns and work both men and women equally have to do. Welcome to the new age of 21st century.

Things were lot different, atleast in India, say 30 years back where you did not have much exposure. Now not only women compete but also are equally aggressive as men(Oh, we have lots sloths too), so obviously if men party, women also can party but know the limit when consuming alcohols. Binge drinking is the new age thing that has gone the full distance and has come back. It is not a taboo anymore to women, particularly, because they have learnt the art of ignoring people, read society, who cry loud if they wear jeans, shorts, micro shorts etc. Did we actually deal with a situation, 30 years back, women being managers and leading bigger corporations? Did we deal with one where women used to compete with men for a top draw managerial position way back? Did we ever know of a situation back then when women could remain single and yet achieve so many things they wanted to instead of being nailed down and buried down as early as 20 under the pretext of marriage? Did we imagine women driving or riding on their own vehicles 30 years back? So much advancement, so much progress they have all made. It looks like to me there are certain group of men who still ride on the dinosaurs back and they think they are invincible and now they are being threatened seeing women in places where it was men who crowded often. No position is safe for anyone and I feel it is these men, powered by media, go for the few party lovers who drink or smoke and make lewd comparisons.

The whole premise of my argument is not about women should not drink or drinking is not good. It is about having fun and hanging loose then there are characters who come along and make big drama queens by complaining loud that all women drink and get wasted soon and are pretty much on the track of self destruction. Eventually I feel it is about how you want to relax and knowing the limitation which is more important because the one weary thing about alcohol is that unless you know when your body cannot take more, every thing around you will sound fun. The moment you cross that you become a nuisance to all.

But do you think men drinking or women drinking and having fun in parties is bad? Do you think it is because of the new age verbs - relax and chill, that is forcing all to take to drinking habits to appear cool? Is it that the moral police wants us all to just consume health drinks and listen to carnatic muzik (which is Indian culture!) when we want to relax and chill?

Cruel existence

I was just amazed at how people ever survive in Africa particularly Zimbabwe. I mean I have been following their inflation situation for a long time now and I was, today, stumped when I got to know that their inflation is heading towards 5 Million% as of today. I mean how can a common man ever live with confidence. No wonder you see there are people who get out of that country and get into some other to do job.

To quote what I read from somewhere - "Weary Zimbabweans are facing a new wave of price increases that will put many basic goods even further out of their reach: A loaf of bread now costs what 12 new cars did a decade ago.

Independent finance houses said in an assessment Tuesday that annual inflation rose this month to 1,063,572 percent based on prices of a basket of basic foodstuffs. Economic analysts say unless the rate of inflation is slowed, annual inflation will likely reach about 5 million percent by October.

As stores opened for business Wednesday, a small pack of locally produced coffee beans cost just short of 1 billion Zimbabwe dollars. A decade ago, that sum would have bought 60 new cars."

To ease cash shortages, Zimbabwe recently introduced a $500 million note, see BBC report here.

In India, we are talking about a 8% (and growing) inflation. It sure needs a thinking and helping administrator who can take a stab at the situation. Sadly so this seems to be lacking in Zimbabwe and that is the reason for this atrocious situation now. But going by what is happening around, every country is going through a sad phase and it looks longingly at the people who are wearing the 'smart' hat and designated as ministers.

I feel awful at the present situation in Zimbabwe though.

Long live the saint. Long live ahoy!

Yea, I survived another year and it was quite interesting and funny the way people responded to my survival. But I maintained my status quo for this year too. Importantly, I liked this reaction better for this year, people I knew were not thinking twice bestowing me with gifts and blah blah.

Anyway, the wish remains the same, to impress a girl hard enough. Interestingly, people around were asking what was the plan for the 'year'. I was thinking why people normally look to an year from the day they are either born or celebrate their existence. Personally, there were many girls whom I liked and hanged out only to break up in the end and many bummed me but few of them remain itched in my memory. One of the them jovially said long before as a reciprocal to my memory loss on her birthday, that she will ensure she forgets my birthday and sadly we broke up long before that to see if she would have forgotten my b'day :D

That's about it. Another year well spent and survived with less diseases, spent with less losers & suckers, all I hope is an another interesting year to come by. So yea this would be a bad news to those who now know I am still alive [:D]

Yes - I am busy. I am busy....

Well that is not what I was meaning to write indicating how I was with the things around me but I have been thinking about this so called 'busy people' sucking it all up in the messengers around us with titles like 'I am busy working on a thing and don't disturb unless important'.Now now, I know, the busy word has several connotations. The person is actually preoccupied or an act to fool people around or trying to choose who they want to talk to or just hangin in there watching which person came online and went offline without doing a thing. But I always

wondered why people get into the online messengers if they were that busy and did not want to be disturbed.

I can get that feeling if you are in a messenger at work. Some weird people track when you come to work by the time you log in to your messenger. I had a German manager who used to do that pretty much concluded that I start the day late. How? I log into the messenger at work late by 10:30 ish. Then to wade through these characters who want to take stock of the situation as to when you log into the messengers. It makes sense if you said "Don't bother to respond. It is just for my sick manager who is tracking my activities".

Now how about Gtalk, Yahoo or AOL where people put up this funny one liners under the pretext of being busy. I think if you are so busy then I feel you should not be logged on at all. However, if it is for filtering out people you don't want to talk to, then how about "Blocking" them? That is more easy I say. Anyway, what is your take on when you see such liners when you get into the messenger and see a person has this next to his/her name? How will you react and what will you specifically feel?

Celebrities say it all - Being silly is not bad

I was meaning to write so many posts back to back on Economics, Attitude of the the so called Indian men(includes women, for those feminists who blame it all on man!) under the pretext of Indian culture yada yada. Then finally I made a "U" turn and decided to keep it all light and cool.

So yea, remember the celebrities can actually be dumb. Maybe we all know that the celebrities in the wild wild west are more vulnerable but then don't let go of the leash on the Indian ones too. Reason why they never appear dumb is because the Media does not cover that part of them. Else we would have gone head for head with the Hollywood dumb ones. I wonder why women are always there in that list. :-] .. Honestly, I do know some male celebrities who goofed up big time.

Anyway, these were some very very interesting comments made by some. Enjoy, if it interests you ! BTW, there are a lot of funny things told by big stars, if you have spare time and like reading funny stuff, follow the - Link and this Link and laugh it all.

To me the funny one liners were :
“I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger,California Governor and actor

“I've read about foreign policy and studied, I now know the number of continents.” - George Wallace 1968 presidential campaign.

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to." - Shaquille O'Neal, basketball player, on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece

Now to the celebrity fun.

"First of all, let's get one thing straight. Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack. Let's get that straight. Okay? We don't do crack. We don't do that. Crack is wack."

Yea - Gimme expensive weed to dope and I would say we need crack. I wonder who ever wrote that marvelous script for her !


"Like, I thought Europe was a country? Is France a country? ...I don't think France is a country."

Ok, sorry to burst your bubble. Yea Europe is a country and France is a big continent, my fair princess !!!

"I'm drinkin' a soy latte, I get a double shotey/ It goes right through my body /I do yoga and Pilates and the room is full of hotties/ So I'm checkin' out the bodies and you know I'm satisfied," lyrics to "American Life."

I wonder what troubled her when she penned the lyric. Just sums up what shit comes in the modern day muzik. Any thing in English = Lyrics.

What's Wal-Mart? Do they sell, like wall stuff?"

Oh yea !! Wall, Buildings.... And I wonder what IKEA sell. Eye?

"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?"

:-) Cannes Film Festival.. err for this obnoxious comment made, firstly, are you even invited?

"Butterflies are always following me, everywhere I go." "If critics have problems with my personal life, it's their problem. Anybody with half a brain would realize that it's the charts that count." "I may believe in Santa, but I'm not delusional."

I am pretty sure you are not delusional and sure they all have a problem.


CNN's TUCKER CARLSON: A lot of entertainers have come out against the war in Iraq. Have you?
BRITNEY SPEARS: Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes and we should just support that, you know, and be faithful in what happens.

Err.. Britney, well.. hmm you had to go AGAINST the war in Iraq. Meaning, saying War is bad, not good for the economy. Meaning against the president..Are you still on dope to sorta go completely opposite. I wonder how Carlson would have reacted when he saw her say this. :-)

"Is this chicken, what I have, or is it fish? I know it's Tuna, but it says: Chicken of the Sea."

Sure, chicken of the sea indeed !


"I dress sexily - but not in an obvious way. Sexy in a virginal way."

"We are the most powerful nation on the globe, and by God, that comes with benefits! I'm not saying we should travel in arrogance or cockiness and strut through downtown Baghdad expecting people to part like the Red Sea. All I ask is for the rest of the world to treat Americans with respect so we don't have to kill you."

First thing, dude, there ain't no downtown in Baghdad and what you just said is slightly against the first sentence. Arrogance, Cockiness.. wonder what that means in your dictionary.

All pictures courtesy http://www.rhapsody.com/

Why no place is safe for kids?

Well to all the expectant parents, already parents, swingers, lovey-dovey couples whatever, do you ever think this world is a safe place for the kids? Imagine with a rule that we put that the kids should not know a 'thing' about sex until a particular age, what is the best place to cool the mind of the kids - Zoo? Well, the once thought of a safe place for the kids is no longer a fun zone. LOL - quite bizarre pictures. Read on and have fun.

Birth of Chinese Olympic symbol

One of the many things about people, sane people, is that they can make others laugh with interesting observations from a totally different angle.

I got a forward on how the Chinese chose their Olympic symbol. Quite profound the thought. This is how it goes and it had be smiling for a while.

And the value of a million is grim

I have always been quite interested in the economics and I have been following the updates in Zimbabwe. Sadly, the situation has gone from worse to worser and I wonder how much the Africans are going to be helped by the world.

Today as we stand by it seems that it is very very easy to become a multi millionaire (atleast if you take the local money worth). Yes, it is sad that the economically depressed country's currency has gone so low that 25 million Zimbabwe dollars = 1 USD ! The official Zimbabwe inflation trebles in one month to 66,000 percent and to top it the cost of a chicken has risen more than 236,000 percent to 15 Million Zimbabwe dollars. How can someone ever EVER live in such situation.

Apparently, the government has not done much in the recent past and the US or other countries have not cried foul. Perhaps it is because they don't have oil there else Mr. President would have occupied Zimbabwe. That seems to be the war cry at this point of time though.
The currency on above was deemed useless because this was worthless on the second day of its issue. The inflation has climbed up to mystery proportion that it seems better that the civil war breaks up anytime now !

It is more interesting to see the news that with Zimbabwe dollars mostly available in bundles of 100,000 and 200,000 notes, one $100 note bought nearly 20 kilograms (40 pounds) of local notes at the new market rate Wednesday.

The above picture is for the cost of a beer !

To combat this situation the government has recently released a new 50-Million Zimbabwean dollar note in a desperate attempt to stabilize the flatering economy. Interestingly, CNN says, the new note is worth about 2 dollars (in the black market) and can buy 3 loaves of bread !

But the super stores are anxious about the present state that they remain empty all the time.

And if this was one side of the ruler who failed to understand that all countries in the past have dealt with the Inflation/Deflation and how to rule at that point of time, India is still in news for some other reason.

It is amazing to read the news that a person who drives Honda City is living below the poverty line ! The government is busy embezzling the money that it does not have any corporate governance in place which would keep track of everything, from an account perspective. They just let everything go and it is quite weird that we are still dealing with such situations. Just sums up how much difficult it is here to rule the country.

If only the people who rule the country are not short sighted(in both the countries!). I wonder how ever would we deal with an inflation situation if ever it became like Zimbabwe. The odds are less considering there are other countries around India which will not be able to survive. So perhaps, at that time the leaders might take a hint. But on a general note, the world is not a very comfortable place to live and how much the print on the paper - Money, rules us all...

It was for no reason, someone sang:

"Money makes the world go around,
the world go around, the world go around,
Money makes the world go around,
it makes the world go round.

A mark, a yen, a buck or a pound,
a buck or a pound, a buck or a pound,
Is all that makes the world go around,
that clinking clanking sound,
Can make the world go round.

If you happen to be rich, and you feel like a night's entertainment,
You can pay for a gay escapade.
If you happen to be rich, and alone and you need a companion,
You can ring ting-a-ling for the maid.
If you happen to be rich and you find you are left by your lover,
Tho you moan and you groan quite a lot,
You can take it on the chin,
call a cab and begin to recover on your fourteen carat yacht.

Money makes the world go around,
the world go around, the world go around,
Money makes the world go around,
of that we both are sure.
(Raspberry) On being poor.

When you haven't any coal in the stove and you freeze in the winter
And you curse to the wind at your fate.
When you haven't any shoes on your feet and your coat's thin as paper
And you look thirty pounds underweight,
When you go to get a word of advice from the fat little pastor,
he will tell you to love evermore.
But when hunger comes to rap, rat-a-tat, rat-a-tat, at the window
See how love flies out the door.

For money makes the world go around, the world go around,
the world go around.
Money makes the world go around,
the clinking, clanking sound
of Money, money, money, money,
Money, money, money, money,
Get a little, get a little,
Money, money, money, money,
Mark, a yen, a buck or a pound,
That clinking, clanking clunking sound
is all that makes the world go round,
It makes the world go round."

Joke time

Sensitive Beer

Three hicks were working on a telephone tower - Steve, Bruce and Jed. Steve falls off and is killed instantly.As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife." Jed says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer.Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Jed?""Steve's wife gave it to me," Jed replies. "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"Well, not exactly", Jed says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'." She said, "No, I'm not a widow!"And I said, "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.

Texas Trooper

Two guys are speeding through Texas when a state trooper pulls them over. The trooper walks up to the drivers side of the car, gets out his billy club and smacks the driver across the face. Stunned, the driver asks, ''Why did you do that??''

The trooper responds, ''You're in Texas now son, you have that license out and ready around here!''

''I apologize sir, I'm not from around here.''

The trooper then walks to the passenger side of the car, and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down his window and the trooper takes out his club and smacks the passenger across the face.

''What was that for?'' asked the passenger.

''I know your kind,'' says the trooper, ''About two miles down the road you would have looked at your buddy and said 'I wish that son of a bitch would have tried that crap with me!'''

The CIA had an opening for an assassin.

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her."The first man said."You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife,"

The agent replies, "Then you're not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent replies, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair."

A man with a pegleg, hook hand and...

A man with a pegleg, hook hand and an eyepatch went to apply to be a pirate.

Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg?

Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.

Interviewer: How did you get that hook?

Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.

Interviewer: What about your eyepatch?

Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.

Interviewer: And that put your eye out?

Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.

That's A Buncha Bull

A man was visiting Spain and passed by a restaurant in Madrid after a bullfight. They were advertising that they served the balls of the bull who lost the bullfight. Intrigued, the man went inside, only to find that where was a six-week waiting list to get to eat the loser's balls. So he signed up and came back six weeks later. When he got his meal, there were two teeny, teeny balls on his plate. He called the waiter over to complain.

"I've waited six weeks for bull balls. What are these?"

"Sir," the waiter said, "the bull doesn't always lose."

The Bottom Line

A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon.

All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the butt before coming in and asking for a drink.

The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask why'd ya kiss your horse on the butt?"

The cowboy says, "It's 'cause I got chapped lips."

The bartender asks, "Does manure help them heal?"

Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking them."

Totally Bats

Two bats are going for their midnight feed.

After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.

The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?"

The second bat replies, "Follow me. I`ll show you."

After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?"

The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!"

Other bat says, "I didn't.

Milking it

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in.

The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.

"Breast fed," the woman replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor asked. She did. He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination.

Motioning for her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is under weight! You don't have any milk."

"I know," she said, "I'm his grandmother, but I'm glad I came."

A lady walks into her doctors office ...

A lady walks into her doctors office screaming.

She yells, "Doctor, Doctor my breasts are hairy! What do I do?"

The doctor asks, "Well, how long does the hair grow?"

The lady replies, "From here to my penis, but that's a different story!"

Little Nancy's Pet

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"

"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."

Irish Pub Sausage

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro.

Murphy said 'Hang on, I have an idea.'

He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage.

Shamus said 'Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!'

Murphy replied, 'Don't worry - just follow me.'

He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky.

Shamus said 'Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!'

Murphy replied, with a smile. 'Don't ! worry, I have a plan, Cheers!'

They downed their drinks. Murphy said, 'OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth.'

The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out.

They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free.

At the tenth pub Shamus said 'Murphy - I don't think I can do any more of this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin' me!'

Murphy said, 'How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub !!!

My Father, The Whorehouse Piano Player

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you're first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"

Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."

"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?" Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."

"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"

Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy''s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.

Billy''s father said, "I'm actually an attorney, but how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

State Trooper

A state trooper pulls a car over for speeding. In the car is an old lady who is hard of hearing and her husband.

When the trooper asks the lady for her driver's license the lady responds, "Heh, what did he say?"

The old man speaks up as he says, "HE NEEDS YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE."

A few minutes later the trooper comes back to the car and says, "Ma'am I see you're from Florida."

The old lady comments, "Heh, what did he say?"

The old man speaks up as he says, "HE SEES YOU'RE FROM FLORIDA.'" The old lady nods her head, "Yup."

The trooper mutters, "Boy, one time, I got the worst piece of ass I ever had in Florida."

The old lady replies, "Heh, what did he say?"

The old man yells, "HE SAYS HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU!"

The Wrinkled Nightgown

A man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary, so the man bought his wife a $250 see-through nightgown.

Later that night she was getting ready for bed and realized the nightgown was still in the box downstairs. Walking naked through the house, she passed her husband who said, "My word, for $250 they could've at least ironed it!"

Respectfully Cheating

Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

"Betty, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me?"

"Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."

"Three? When were they?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"

"I can't believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. When was number 3?"

"Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?"

Box office sell out - Illegal pirated DVD's

It is quite interesting to think whether the 1920's classic - The Bicycle thief or the 5 man army or guns of Navarone OR the international discs like Turtles can fly or City of god or The Motorcycle diaries or Melana or Amelie and many more disc's such as these are available in India for an affordable price? Fear not, the confiscated custom prints are sold illegal outside and I made a lottery on a personal note,for now,I am glad these are inexpensive discs with great quality and I was quite surprised to see the variety of them too.

What was disappointing to me was that I was a member (coughed up lot of money) to a store in Adyar (I am just not going to divulge the name for any future problems) which looked like a shop that sells good and legal versions of the international movies. And not just the membership that was expensive but also every time you lent a disc there was a price to it. So in all it was a costly affair but I was glad that I was doing the good thing by helping the legal effort. My bubble burst yesterday night when I went to this place last night where they told me that they source the discs to that store where I was a member!

This was crazy when I got to know because pretty much they had all the versions - Korea to Japan to French to Portugese to Israel to America to classics versions all sold for a cheap 60 bucks ! And the 'average' Indian mentality to make quick profit was the outcome of the shop in Adyar, who ends up being faking the whole system and charging us about 100 bucks to rent them and see. So now see the difference?

I now found a place where I would go to get my international discs and inspite of knowing it is not the best thing I can do to the society, I give two hoods. I tried to be nice but then in India it just does not help it looks like, sadly?!?!?!?

So what is the benefit of me trying to be all that nice. I am compelled to force myself to think about the book I read a while back where the author makes a punching statement that Indians are privately smart but publicly dumb (Book title "Games Indians Play: Why we are the way we are?"). But I am so glad to know where my International discs are is quite satisfying. They have this, my god, unbelievable collection. I just hope no smart alec would connect my post to the cops !!

When Karma comes back to bite you - Go green !

Well,apparently, that is what has pushed us to the corner now. The impending misuse of natural resource, fossil fuel etc has just left us partially naked to the oppressive conditions and pushing, whilst exposing, earth to extremities of nature.

Who do we really say is responsible for what we are in? Does it even matter anymore? Our advances in technology is a juggernaut which is really going to impend the existence of man. It is during these trying conditions, the die hard saviors of the Earth are wanting us to go back to stone age by 'forcefully' abstaining use of electricity/power between 8 to 9 or 10 every day. This article here talks about how much we fear when Karma comes back to bite us for all our mis deeds in the past. This new moment is spreading across the world and it would be quite interesting how many enterprises and households would be interested in India to go back to stone age with candle power !

There in lies the difference if the major powers (population wise) like China and India , advanced technology abusers (America and other developed countries) seem to heed to this notice. Frankly, from my personal perspective, I would not follow this one hour power shut down concept and I am sure in another 10 years from now no one is going to ask me and they would forcefully snap the cable and power for 5-6 hours in the night ! But then to me this concept does not mean much. It is how much the enterprises make progress towards this concept that is sweeping across the world. If they begin to use more natural resources like solar energy, wind and re-consumption of used energy, then for us to follow this 'forced' power outage makes sense. Else this does not mean nothing huge to me.

But the guilt in us will be quite profound that these "Go Green", "Environmental friendly", "Bio fuel", "Eco compliant" phrases would become a passe and finally we will hope to clear the mess we made out everything around us. To think about there would be traffic jam (because of our satellites in the orbit) by 2020 just sums our abuse not within the world but also outside ! Now these phrases are such a big, fashionable statements that every other person use without even thinking. But whether we persist with this with intent is something that we would never know. But for now, I hate this concept of 1 hour power shut down. How about we make a rule don't use your vehicle for a day instead of an hour power shut down? I think that would be more compelling and profound than the one hour power shut down when I would want to relax after I come from work. I, personally, will not follow this.

How about you?

Someone said...

Standing by the window

Wishing you were here;
Knowing that I feel complete,
Whenever you are near.
Oh, the love.

Tears fall in my sadness
I feel alone and blue
The road is always empty
Without the sight of you.
Oh, the love, the lost love.

But then I do remember
The times that we do share
My heart is so much lighter
Your love makes me aware.
Oh, the love, my hope

No matter what the distance
You're always by my side
Spirit of your LOVE
Each day of my life resides
Oh, the love, I wait for.

-- Anonymous.

And when muzik cried loud...

Yea, today my fella mate, Nitya, humbled me by giving me two awards - why and for what I don't know and don't want to dissect. I am just so glad and happy :-]

Thanks for tipping me ahead of all other nice writers you know. I am going to go crying loud now.. Look what you did to me !!

Vik

The Reaping

Movie type: Horror, Suspense/Thriller

MPAA rating: R:for violence, disturbing images and some sexuality

Year of release: 2007

Run time: 96 minutes

Directed by: Stephen Hopkins

Cast: Annasophia Robb, David Morrissey, Hilary Swank, Idris Elba, Manolo Cardona, Stephen Rea

In "The Reaping," Hilary Swank endures the 10 biblical plagues and takes on a backwoods Satanic cult. Having faced killer homophobes in "Boys Don't Cry" and deadly bedsores in "Million Dollar Baby," the two-time Oscar winner would seem perfect for the job of snuffing out evil.

But this long-delayed, pitiful excuse for a horror film feels like penance for her great success. She's all wrong for this sort of effects-drenched disaster picture, anyway. To get a sense of the incongruity, imagine Sally Field in her prime carrying, say, 1985's "Howling II."

"The Reaping" does have a kernel of campy promise. Swank plays professor Katherine Winter , an ex-missionary minister who, after losing her entire family in some Sudanese blood rite, trots the globe using science to debunk supposed miracles. She's a merciless, atheistic Lara Croft, kicking the poor and the hopeless while they're down. But since this is the rare horror film about the power of belief, we quickly know she'll have the bejesus scared back into her by the time it's over.

After overturning her 48th purported miracle in Chile, Katherine returns home to Louisiana State University, where she's greeted by David. He plays a schoolteacher who provides Katherine with her biggest case yet.

A river in his little bayou town, hilariously called Haven , flows with blood, and the townsfolk have placed the blame on a blond girl (AnnaSophia Robb ) who was found nearby with her dead brother. They think she murdered him.

The schoolteacher tells Katherine that the town is convinced this is the start of the plagues. Sure enough, when she arrives with her co-worker Ben (Idris Elba ), a practicing, religiously tattooed Christian, the countdown begins: a hail of frogs, a swarm of locusts, diseased livestock, nasty boils on the skin, etc.

In Exodus , the plagues were calamities that God wrought on the Egyptians for enslaving the Israelites . But Katherine is unmoved, offering a perfectly natural rationalization for it all. Such explanations require Swank to speak in paragraphs that illuminate her literacy but not her talent. Well this paragraph is where she basically relates the plagues in the past with scientific arguments. Quite phenomenal those but then the crowd watching the movie in Madras, India, is so retarded that they just can't have the patience to see the long dialogues. The idiots clap but I would have frowned in my usual senses but then their appreciation was sort of more timing centric. She needed that clap for an amazing dialogue delivery !

She may rely on facts, but Katherine's unconscious has a mind of its own. She has nightmares of the Sudan and sex fantasies about the schoolteacher. She also has to figure out why her old priest friend (Stephen Rea , looking suitably embarrassed) keeps insisting she's in danger.

The screenplay never credibly explains what's going on. Not after one viewing -- and that was enough for me, thank you. None of what we discover is ever interesting enough to make us care . The story vaguely cribs from "The Wicker Man ," "Rosemary's Baby ," "The Exorcist ," and "The Omen ," but doesn't come close to the lasting fright of any of those titles. And why drag Louisiana or Sudan into any of this, only to portray the people who live there as insultingly backward ?

Stephen Hopkins directs "The Reaping" according to the Satanic horror manual, right down to the choral chanting on the soundtrack. The lighting is often too dark to see what's happening, and the editing makes a mess of even the most tolerable scenes (the locust attack, for example). Like most of these movies, the film is cut like a trailer for a horror flick instead of being a horror flick proper. And the staging of the final sequence is laughable. Surrounded by explosions, and computer effects worthy of any Atari game, the actors appear to be standing around while a wind fan blows and wondering how they would look like in the big screen. I was kinda vexed as the movie was drawing to a closure.

Swank, of course, is a trouper, playing a part meant for an actor with a quarter of her fame and half her Oscars. But would Sarah Michelle Gellar even have dared?